


Seeing Not Believing

by lividcolors



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Demon Dean Winchester, Happy Ending, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lividcolors/pseuds/lividcolors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is newly demon, and though he finds it doesn't come with many changes, it does come with one he considers very important. Now that Dean is a demon, he can truly see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing Not Believing

Dean Winchester is many things. Brother, son, friend, hunter; now he can even add demon to the list. 

It has been a strange transition, human to demon, and honestly it’s all been a bit anticlimactic. He’d been expecting a heart full of hatred and darkness, a soul flayed and destroyed, a mind bent on killing.

And instead he’s this, still Dean, just a bit more aggressive. He can’t say much has changed. He still loves his brother, he still loves Cas, he still enjoys hunting, and he still just wants his family to be okay. 

One of the things that  _ has _ changed is his ability to see. He still has his regular sight, nothing has been taken away, only now he has the ability to truly  _ see _ .

He can see demon’s faces and peoples’ souls. He can see the life that flows through trees and plants, the imprints countless people have left on a single space. He can see all of energy and creation, flowing and twisting and constantly changing. 

But, most important of all, he can see  _ angels _ . Not just their vessels, but their true selves. 

The first time he sees Cas as he can now, he stops dead (ha, he’s hilarious). Sam looks back and forth between him and Cas, who has also stopped to engage in their very important contest to see who can map out all the new changes quicker. Cas finally snaps his eyes away, over to Sam, and Dean wonders if hr ought to be disappointed he lost. He thinks he might be if it weren’t for the fact that he’s way too absorbed in just taking all of  _ Cas _ in (ha, even when his brain is malfunctioning he’s still hilarious).

Cas asks Sam a question, something about how they’ll fix him, but Dean just continues to stare because Cas is  _ beautiful _ . He is bright, so very bright that it nearly hurts Dean’s eyes to even look at. Dean can see his grace,  _ him _ , enveloping and spilling out of its vessel, out of everything. He at once seems so very large and so very small, for Dean can tell even now that Cas is not okay.

He is large and magnificent, but there is also something slightly off about him. He shines with an intensity Dean thinks might eclipse that of a star, but still there seems to be a sort of quiet shadow that lingers, draping itself across him like an unwanted guest. 

His wings are a whole other story. Dean watches as they drift in and out of space . Cas’s wings are not what Dean had ever expected. When he had thought of them he had always pictured of them as large and black; maybe resembling that of a raven. He had never imagined  _ this _ : this strange and beautiful thing that seems to float in the space all around them. 

The wings are mist, dancing and gliding, a strange and gorgeous electric blue. They are lava, crawling and creeping across the floor, tendrils reaching out and just barely brushing Sam and Dean’s ankles, like they can’t help but touch. They are ice, strong and solid in a way that Dean did not know was possible for such liquid things to be. And they are fire, consuming and engulfing everything in their path in a beautiful bath of light. 

And yet there is still something off about them. They are gorgeous in every way, that much Dean is sure of, but they also seem strangely  _ bent _ . They seem hesitant to touch, fragile where such large and intense things should be strong. Cas almost looks as if he carries them as a deadweight on his shoulders, and Dean can’t help but wonder how long it has been like this, and why he never noticed it before now.

Even his halo (and wow, angels actually have halos) seems crooked and out of shape, twisting in on itself awkwardly and painfully. 

After Dean has finished taking all of Cas in, he allows himself a moment to peer at Cas’s body, and is not surprised but nonetheless disheartened by what he finds. Cas looks worn down and beaten up. Cheeks hollow and dark circles framing his eyes, Cas looks almost as if he’s dying (he’s not, his brain reminds him). 

“Cas,” Dean says, and his voice cracks on the name, though he hardly cares. Cas turns to him, a strange look falling over his features before disappearing. Dean doesn’t have to wonder what it is. Cas’s grace shows the hope and the disappointment clearly. For a moment he is a bit offended and maybe even hurt, but it passes quickly. This is what he is now, and Cas will have to get used to it eventually.

Cas doesn’t say anything, simply nods at him, but Dean can see the turmoil he’s feeling. His grace, his  _ self _ , is telling Dean everything he needs to know. Like how worried Cas is, how scared they won’t be able to get Dean back. How tired he is, how much his body aches, how raw his grace feels. Dean can see it all, laid out on Cas’s grace like a book, and thinks that maybe there  _ was _ a reason angels were always fighting.

Dean can see it all and he wonders what to do, how to fix it. Cas is so much more damaged than he thought, every inch of his grace exhausted and pushed past its limits. Dean doesn’t know how he could ever mend something as broken as Castiel.

But he takes another look at Cas. He is dying and crumbling yes, but he is also the most bright and brilliant thing Dean has ever seen. Cas is sick, but he is also strong, so much stronger than Dean ever even realized. He  _ will _ get through this. Dean will make sure of it.

He’s going to need time and maybe help to figure all of this out, but he will figure it out. Cas will get better, they will figure out how to deal with this new Dean, what it means, but they  _ will  _ figure it out. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'll continue this (I probably won't). Hope you liked it! You can come and find me on tumblr as lividcolors. And please, please, PLEASE, leave comments and kudos! They seriously make me so happy. I hope your day goes wonderfully!


End file.
